Luke Supports Bed Rest

Recently I was asked whether or not I Support Bed Rest.  I have to admit to being completely taken aback by the naivety this question.  On its surface, the question seems simple enough.  Do I, Luke the Wonderdog, support resting on a bed?  Oh, but there is so much complexity buried in that question that I feel I cannot just let "sleeping dogs lie" with a simple answer like, "Yes". 

First, let us consider what is meant by the word "Bed" in Bed Rest.  The key to properly understanding this term requires coming to grips with the fact that if one has the proper mindset then every surface is a "Bed".  Obviously, a large, well-made, king-sized bed is a bed.  But keep the following facts in mind as well.  A nice, soft, leather sofa is certainly a "Bed".  A freshly vacuumed and decluttered carpet is a very fine "Bed".  The coolness of a recently swept and mopped-free-of-muddy-dog-foot prints tile or wood floor absolutely makes a great "Bed".  Maybe not so obvious, but accurate nonetheless, is the fact that freshly planted seasonal flowers make a wonderful "Bed".  This location is particularly relaxing because it comes with the pleasant wafting smell, borne by the fresh Texas air, and grand splendor of beautiful, aromatic flowers.  In fact, this location is even called a flower "Bed".  Who could dare argue this is a "Bed"?  Other places or things that I have verified through personal testing which qualify as "Beds" include futons, bathtubs, outdoor furniture cushions, dining room tables, My People's respective laps (which are often accompanied by the words, "Good Lord you're heavy Luke...now get down"...My People are such kidders), shower floors, and anybody else's yard just to name a few.  Goodness, the list of what constitutes a bed seems endless.

The second word of this complex question involves the word "Rest".  Again, defining "Rest" seems simple enough at first.  But, with careful consideration, one soon realizes that understanding "Rest" takes considerable effort.  (Ironic isn't it?)  Please consider the following.  Sleeping is obviously "Rest".   But, the dictionary also defines "Rest" as 1. "refreshing ease or inactivity after exertion or labor", 2. "relief or freedom, especially from anything that wearies, troubles, or disturbs", 3. "a period or interval of inactivity, repose, solitude, or tranquility", and 4. "mental or spiritual calm; tranquility".  Ponder the types of things that could induce a feeling of "relief or freedom".  Chewing things (particularly things made of fabric that have been worn by My People), feeling no need to go outside to take care of "business" if doing so simply seems like too much effort, and eating warm, deliciously prepared food at head-height off of the dinner table instead of having to painfully lower one's head to the ground to eat dry, bland food out of a bowl all provide much relief and freedom.  Particularly freeing is playfully dragging the 5 year old child of My People around the backyard by the arm while he giggles and squirms.  That is so restful!

With all of this in mind, and having fully considered the broad and diverse universe of what constitutes "Bed Rest" I am now prepared to state my position.

I am not "vile and wretched".  I am definitely not a "creature".  I am Luke and I Support Bed Rest.

Vote For Luke.